Worst Days
A yellow brick road through space crosses the planet Earth, a mere pitstop.
1) Honey
Imagine a huge insatiable beast that lives on the emotions . Every day it is fed the smiles, tears, screams and laughs of all who willingly and unwillingly offer up their stories, photos and videos. Unfortunately, this is not a symbiotic relationship and those that make offerings are left as dull, empty husks void of the resonance of experience, aka the “honey”. They remember nothing.
2) Looking For You
That split second glance at someone who doesn’t break eye contact right away. They instead hold the gaze, smirk a little and then look away bashfully, only to return to your gaze and you get to watch the delight in their expression as they realize you have looked away at all. Everything from the conversation to the physical touch is in line with what you’ve dreamt of and the interactions are nothing less than amazing.
3) Same Love
Life is full of disappointment especially when deep feelings are involved. Sometimes, the love of another only carries the aesthetic of truth and with time you come to see if the feelings are deep enough to develop strong roots. This song is about an unrequited situation.
4) Naïve
When a prospective relationship is unconventional, some will keep it cordial when they really want more; putting your heart on a leash and taking a long walk. While immaturity and lack of self-confidence plays a major role in why someone would hide their feelings, I do recognize the weight of homogeny presented by society on a daily basis. Love can be frightening, but its worth fighting for and will never require you to relinquish your self-respect.
5) Velvet Waters
After being single for a while, we can get a little apprehensive and sometimes a bit feral with our feelings and actions. We may become a bit hardened or skeptical of partnership. But then, just as we begin to settle into isolation, someone amazing shows up and challenges all your hardened skepticisms and acceptance of isolation.
6) Crush
The spark when a glance turns into a stare, the butterflies when their name shows up on your phone, the shortness of breath when you see how good they look at the disco, that hand that touched your waist for the first time, that third drink, this song.
7) Secret
Unspoken attraction can be very exciting. It may look typical and platonic on the outside, but you’ve got the 411. You notice the longer than usual hugs, the unwavering stare whenever your eyes meet theirs, the incessant smiling, the general lack of physical distance and eagerness to touch an arm or shoulder, the electrifying brush of a hand…
8) I Like Your Love
Full fledged no questions asked we are in this for real this time kind of love! We support each other, we listen to each other, we’re obsessed and aren’t afraid to show it. You’re the diamond to my pressure. I’m the pressure do your diamond.
9) Waves
Taking a step back from feelings and relationships, we sit on the line between life and death, love and hate, joy and depression. This is an acceptance of what is and what may come to pass. The ups, downs and everything in between. An acknowledgement of the waves of life. Cheers!
10) Sin & Shame
This song is actually an experiment in alliteration. It turned out to be a bit cryptic and available for multiple interpretations, but I think it lends itself well to the concept of apprehension and regret. I like that it sounds like a 1970’s garage band…in their garage.
11) Repair
If you are having ANY desires, dreams or thoughts of harming yourself in any way, call Community Crisis Response (CR2) 24 hour crisis line: 844-N-Crisis (844-627-4747) National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Call or text 9-8-8, or visit www.988lifeline.org. As long as you’re alive, you’ve got time.
12) Praying For You
I’m only recently learning what a lightworker is and I love the title and concept so much. Born into a military-religious household, I was raised under the hierarchy of the Christian church and faith. Later in life, I sawed off religious belief with a cold, dull knife and spent years wretched in pain and covered in blood. Emerging from my soul’s darkest night, I realized my destiny is as a purveyor of the light and fully embraced the shadows cast along my path.
13) Fork
Following songs of hope, we enter yet again into the ebb portion of the wave as we doubt and isolation start to take a toll on one’s consciousness. This song is one of those “I’ve gotta snap out of it” moments.
14) Goodbye Suicide
And forth we go with the flow post the ebb! No ups without downs, no light without dark, no left without right. Acknowledging and accepting the dichotomy of life’s best and worst aspects ensures that we find strength the balance. There’s no fulcrum without BOTH edges.
15) Worst Days
Though often unforgiving, experience is a very effective teacher. I am forever grateful for the worst days of my life and that I’ve made it through to the other side of disaster and depression. I have real joy. My walls are built with love, care and perseverance. My trust has tariffs and my will is not, nor will it ever be, for sale. I can sense when my light is starting to fade and can feel the edge in complete darkness. I’ve learned how to preserve my energy and maneuver over and around stones, thorns and snares efficiently without tiring or wavering. My worst days have taught me how to learn to survive.
